Saturday, May 10, 2014

Webs of Entanglement

I am going to apologize in advance. I am not sure how positive this email will be. My heart is heavy and my attitude is somber. This week has been so hard. With all that happened last weekend with our Bully it has really put a damper on a ton of other things. We had a lesson with Rock to start his new member lessons this week. Everyone failed to tell us that his ex-wife was coming and we were NOT prepared to teach a lesson for her. They wanted to move the lesson time up and gave us 45 minute notice. Then when we got there we still didn't start until the original time because they kept talking and wouldn't sit down so we could start!!!!!! Oh and the ex-wife didn't show up till then! Not only that but because of our Bully and his attitude towards us and the way we felt in his home we couldn't teach with the spirit to save our lives. It didn't go well and Rock's ex-wife was no more convinced what we believe is a good thing for her kids than when she arrived. Its a nasty situation and totally stressful. Our ward mission leader met with us to talk about what to do with the situation. He felt it important to talk to the Bishop about it and we told him we weren't comfortable with it because it might cause another flare up if the Bully got word of it. Wellyesterday (luckily) our Bully was out of town. The Bishop asked us to come and meet with him after church. We were slightly apprehensive. The whole time he talked and then when he wanted us to "vent" we didn't. When we tried to talk and inform him of the details we felt were important for him to know he justified every single thing said and done to us with "Well he has a big heart and is like a bull in a china cabinet and you are dainty flowers so you got stepped on." What we didn't know before that meeting was that our Bishop and our Bully are super close friends. So of course what we have to say about how we feel and what happened is totally unbelievable to him. All he kept saying was that he was going to talk to the Bully and when we said we weren't okay with that because of  fear of having a repercussion it was totally dismissed. It appears that no matter what we say to the men in this ward it doesn't matter they dont listen!  I AM SO FRUSTRATED! I can't do anything here! I am totally and completely stuck in Castaic. Like a fly stuck to a spiders web! I have tried so hard to love the ward and the area and I just can't seem to accomplish it. We aren't sleeping, we can barely work, I have had a migraine from stress the last 4 days and I want to leave. I have no idea what I am supposed to learn. I dont understand why it has to come this way. I get yelled at everyday, I get doors slammed in my face but I know its not personal. I can deal with it, but this is personal and I can't handle it. That is it. 
On the lighter side of companion and I went on a little road trip with some other missionaries to the Arcadia mission for a doctors appointment. It was so fun to see more of California and to have the time to get to know other missionaries on a level that was personal for all of us. It was a grand ol' time and the break we needed from Castaic. It felt so good to not have to focus on our area while we were gone. Doesn't that sound horrible?! But its the truth. Now my companion is doing much better with what the appointment was for. I am glad it got worked out just in time for things to keep blowing up. 
Our investigators this week asked about baptism and the things they need to stop doing so it can happen. It was a step in the right direction and we were so excited. Also they were able to read Alma 32 and got so much out of it! Baby steps are necessary for these particular people and its beginning to show. That is about the only highlight this week I can think of. 
So I apologize again for this email. Like I said its been hard to stay positive this week. I have no idea what this week holds in store but I hope its better.
Hurrah for Israel!
Sister Cottrell

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