Sunday, June 13, 2010

Story Line

Do you ever feel like you have a story to tell? That you absolutely have to tell it otherwise you will explode? Well in reading my last few posts I realized thats what I've done. Ive started a story and now I feel like I need to finish it- although it doesn't really have an ending because the end hasn't come yet. Let me try to give you the rest of the story line:
Last sunday I went and talked to my Bishop..(at last) and told him my concern over finances for the mission. We talked about it and came to the conclusion that if I save $4000 by september then the ward will cover half of my expenses for 18 months! I was absolutely relieved to hear this and further amazed at the blessing when I was told that the money from the sale of my car was to 1. pay off the loan and 2. any extra be saved for after the mission so I dont come home to not one penny. As I was leaving the meeting the sense of a burden was lifted off my shoulders. I felt elated and so happy to have the realization that things really will work out for me to serve and leave soon after I turn 21. But something the Bishop said to me on my way out has stuck with me very closely. He said, "Satan does not want you to go on a mission, he will try and throw a relationship at you." Wow he couldn't have been more dead on. The reason I mention this is because I have begun to feel very unnerved about what is happening with Brad and I. He is interested in me, its plainly obvious, but I don't feel like I am romantically there. Sure I enjoy the attention and the one on one time we have but I feel like I'm cheating him of something. On thinking about this I decided that it would be best not to try and pursue a quote "relationship" rather I would feel more comfortable with a growing friendship. I'm trying to focus on going on a mission how can I do that when I have a constant reminder someone is there pursuing me? I feel right about my decision and have been assured that Brad will understand and support me once he is told of my decision. I respect him and have no desire to hurt him and frankly I'm scarred about talking to him. I pray that Heavenly Father will guide me and help in this decision. I just hope that Brad wont hurt too badly.
Anyway that's the end of the story that hasn't ended yet. Does it make any sense? Cuz my head is still spinning.


  1. It funny that your bishop originally started off saying something about you getting married instead of going on a mission and then says the second time you visit with him that Satan will throw a relationship at you. Don't be afraid to talk to Brad, when its right you'll feel good after you talk to him. Thats how I felt when I broke up with least until i started to get lonely and start to regret my decision because I was missing the relationship not the boy (there is a difference!)

    It is an interesting saga...I'm waiting for the rest of the story...I hope it never has an end. :)

  2. Just let Brad know what's going on. If he doesn't understand then he wasn't the guy for you anyway, not even one you'd want for a friend. If he does understand, then you'll gain valuable ally in your quest to get on a mission. You win either way.